Monday, September 20, 2010

I MAY NEVER RETURN

So three weeks ago me and Papa were at the country house one evening. He was laying on the couch watching tv and I was in the recliner reading or whatever I do when he is watching tv. At one point he kind of jumped up and started fiddling with the cushions on the couch…..always one to blame the evil cigarette, I asked if he dropped an ember or something and was I going to die a fiery death later that night after it had smoldered for hours? No, no he said but wouldn't elaborate and so I tended to go back to ignoring his behavior and HE LAID BACK DOWN……so last week we were out there again....now in my normal nightly routines I get up in the dark in the middle of the night and go to the bathroom and I usually get up in the predawn, DARK hours and let Snoopy out as she wakes up at 5:30 Monday-Monday, just normal nightly behavior for me.

This past weekend I stayed in the city because of obligations and he went down to the country on Saturday night to get the mail and check on things. He spent the night and yesterday we met up at a friend's house for a BBQ party. While we were there, Papa makes a comment "not sure if I should tell you or not but..." He did this in front of others knowing I wouldn't go into full blown hysterics in front of a crowd.

Continuing he says "I found a 4 1/2 foot black snake in the back bathroom this morning when I went in to take a shower." Silence... He explained also that a few weeks ago when he jumped up from the couch and I had questioned what he was doing that he had seen a snakeskin by his foot. So he checked under the cushions for snake and seeing nothing laid back down to continue his tv viewing and contemplating whether to share this information with me or not. FOR THE NEXT THREE WEEKS. Continued silence but about this time I'm feeling physically sick.

Going back to Sunday's story. No, he didn't kill it, he caught it and took it outside and left it on the side of the road……STILL ALIVE where it's probably found it's way right back in my house, probably under the covers in the bed waiting for me as I type this…..No I don't think I can ever go back there…..

And being the empathic sort he is, Papa just keeps saying………"the black snake is your friend"….

I beg to differ. I consulted the internet this morning about said "black" snake.....if it's indeed that and not an "old cottonmouth---that IS posionious, who turns dark, almost black as it ages". It is non-poisionous but has excellent climbing ability (i.e., all the better for climbing into bed with me! When startled, they may freeze and wrinkle themselves into a series of kinks. If they feel further threatened, they may flee quickly or vibrate their tails in dead leaves (a form of mimicry, to make it sound like a rattlesnake). JUST WHAT I NEED TO HEAR NOW. They are also capable of producing a foul smelling musk which they will release onto a predator if picked up. PERFECT. The female lays about 12 to 20 eggs after five weeks and they hatch about 65 to 70 days later. SWEET, he couldn't tell if this was a male or female snake but it was an "adult" and so now there is the possibilty of 20 more of these in my house! These snakes eat anything they can catch that will fit down their throats, and are highly defensive. This does not mean they will chase you, it means if you corner them they will defend themselves, if you get between them and where they want to hide, they will run right under your feet to get to their hiding spot (making people think they're being chased). Once cornered black snakes put up a vigorous fight, biting hard and often.

Needless to say I had vivid nightmares last night (before I did the above research)and I believe I'll be consuming lots of wine just to sleep this week at the CITY HOUSE where we NEVER SEE SNAKES!

NEVER WILL I MAKE FRIENDS WITH A SNAKE.
Extremely Distressed GRAMMY

1 comment:

Nezzy said...

Oh Honey, I'm with ya all the way. In my book the only good snake is a dead snake. Evil...they are!!!

Ya'll have a blessed and snake free day sweetie!!!